


Sacrifices

by evieplease



Category: Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Blow Jobs, Cardiac, Desk Sex, F/M, Physical Abuse, Red Carpet, Scotland, Shower Sex, Verbal Abuse, abusive boss, washing machine sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-09-25 20:15:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9842114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evieplease/pseuds/evieplease
Summary: Mayhem on the Red Carpet leads to an encounter.





	1. Sacrifices

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is actually the 10th in this story, because I'm only starting to figure out how to post here and I missed the multiple chapter button! My apologies.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is actually chapter 10 of Sacrifices. The previous chapters are posted seperately.

“You fixed this, didn’t you?” Felicia stared down into her tea mug.  
“Excuse me? Fixed what?” I asked warily. I didn’t think she was talking about the tea.  
She sat nervously, clasping and clasping her hands, licking her lips.  
“You, you did something, said something…” She threw her hands up. “I don’t know! But what…whatever it was, thank you.”  
“Felicia…” Her silver head bent.  
“I was so insecure with James, right at first. Jealous? Oh Lord, was I jealous! Of anything or anyone who took his attention from me. And Thomas… I never saw him as anything but a threat. You should have seen him then, tall and golden, all charm and good cheer. So very like his father… the way James looked at him, the light shining in his eyes. The same way he looked at me…but different, do you see? But James looked at Tom like he was the most perfect, the most precious thing on earth.  
He was like that with his girls too, just the same. It didn’t bother me with Sarah and Emma, I don’t know why. Maybe it was because both girls were so open and welcoming. They were just clearly so delighted that their dad had someone to love.  
But Thomas… Thomas was more wary, more suspicious of me. Protective of James in some way. Thomas clearly didn’t like me, didn’t think I was good enough for his dad. He was right, of course. She shook her head, looking sad.  
"I was so nervous. The first time that I met him, he… sneered at me.”  
“Dear God, Felicia, he was 15! Of course he sneered at you! It’s what fearful teenagers do!”  
She held her hands out, pleading for me to understand.  
"I know! I know… but you have to understand… I didn’t know anything about children, didn’t know anything about marriage for that matter! And James loved him so much, and I… I sort of built Thomas up into the one person in the world who could take James away from me… He… he had all this power, you see, and I had none.”  
Today… today was the first time we’ve spent more than 10 minutes in each other’s company since he was,“ she squinted into the distant memory, "about 20 years old. We’ve been pretty successful in avoiding each other’s company since. Somehow Thomas and I were never able to move forward. Until you came along. So whatever you did, thank you.”  
I worried my lip with my teeth, wondering what to say. Finally I took a deep breath.  
“You’re welcome? Look, Felicia… Tom is a lovely man. I really think if you give him a chance…”  
Felicia nodded and began to talk of supper. I think they’ll probably be ok. If they work at it a bit. I rinsed out our mugs and fixed a tray to take upstairs.  
***  
“… not getting any younger, Thomas! What are you going to do about that extraordinary girl?”  
I came to a halt in the hallway, outside James’s bedroom door, feeling myself color at finding the two of them having a conversation about me.My heart gave a hard thump, my stomach dropped, and the teacups rattled in their saucers.  
I pulled in a breath before I sailed into the room, stooping to set the teacups on the small table between them, both men looking a bit sheepish at my inopportune appearance. Right. Bull by the horns.  
“Extraordinary, is it?” I flashed a grimace at Tom before continuing, rolling my eyes at the universality of parents.  
"Extraordinary or not, James, I am very much not something that Tom necessarily has to do anything about! And didn’t we just have a conversation about fishing for your grandchildren?” I chastised.  
I rounded on Tom. He blanched. "And you! Whatever your Dad, and my Mum, may think, I am not being coy in the least when I say that I am sooo! not! interested! in providing anyone with grandchildren anytime soon!“  
I turned to James and narrowed my eyes at him.  
"James darling, just so everybody’s clear on this; If HE,” I flicked a thumb at Tom, “has any interest in talking to me about children in five or so years HE can bloody well pick up the phone!”  
My mobile rang in my pocket, (jeez, right on cue!) interrupting what would probably have been an epic and humiliating tirade. Damn, it’s Jase’s ring tone. ‘She Fucking Hates Me’. Tom laughed, recognising the tune. As I turned and pulled my mobile from my pocket, I heard James chuckle to Tom. “You’d never be bored…”  
Shaking my head, I shot James a quelling look. ”Excuse me, I need to take this, it’s my boss.”  
Tom’s eyebrows crashed down over his nose, the smug little smile dropped off his face with a nearly audible crash, and he looked like launching himself out of his chair. James was looking at Tom’s fury with alarm.  
I held up a hand.  
“Don’t even!” I hissed and turned to walk through the doorway. I let my feet carry me down the stairs.  
“Jase?”  
“Where the hell are you, Melissa??”  
“I’m in Scotland, Jase. Where are you?” I ask sweetly. One of these day the man might astonish us by picking up some (or a) manners. Faint hope.  
“There’s something going on at my office.” he snapped. "I’ve had calls from other tenants in the building about the alarm going off! Go find out what’s happening and handle it! Call me when it’s fixed.” He disconnected abruptly. Well, shit. The fucker has just ordered me to fly back to London from fucking Scotland to turn off his damn office alarm for him!  
Well, shit. I stood staring at my mobile, thinking about all the things I need to do. I looked up when Tom came cautiously into the kitchen after me.  
“Sorry, about all that…” he flicked a hand at the ceiling, indicating the exchange with James. I snorted.  
“Parents, right? One minute they’re telling you to reach for the stars, the next they’re plotting to saddle you with their grandchildren! I think it’s all some sort of twisted parental revenge conspiracy!”  
Tom laughed. “No doubt.”  
Tom’s eyes twinkled and he grinned as he folded his arms and leaned against the door frame.  
“You do realize, I’m perfectly capable of fighting that battle myself?” His eyebrows tilted up. I colored a bit. I folded my arms and tilted my head, looking back at him.  
“Yes, well, sorry… It seemed appropriate to stick my two cents in, since it was my name that got dragged into it this time!”  
Tom paced across the kitchen and pulled me into one of his full contact hugs.  
“Well, that’s my dad dealt with… What shall we do about your Mum?”  
I groaned as 16 different responses, most of them illegal, rolled through my head. I grumbled.  
“I can’t help but note that you, suave Thomas, graciously accepted that invitation to Sunday dinner! You just can’t help yourself can you?” I shook my head at him with a smirk.  
“I probably ought to tell you to leave my mum to me, but after that,” I tipped a finger at the ceiling, “I’m damn tempted to let you deal with my mum on your own!” He laughed, seemingly delighted at the prospect.  
“Hmm. I’d better have a think, then! I have a sneaking suspicion that your mother won’t be as easy to put off!” And then in a rapid change of mood, his mouth tightened and jaw flexed.  
“Now. What are you going to do about the prick?” he asked grimly. I sighed.  
“I’m sorry Tom, I’ll have to go back and get his shit sorted.”  
“Melissa… I can’t bear it if he hurts you again.”  
“You know, that’s really… I can handle Jase. I’ll be fine.” I scrubbed at my scalp, trying to dispel the tension headache that always climbs the back of my neck whenever I think of Jase. Damn horrible wanker. Well, there’s nothing for it…  
Tom and I went back upstairs and made my excuses. I was actually sorry to leave. James is a lovely man, and Felicia completely unexpected. But I must get back and pack, and sort out a flight reservation.  
Arriving back at our hotel room, Tom slid the key card through the reader, his fingers stroking unobtrusively on my lower back. Unobtrusive the onlookers, I mean. It’s very obvious to me, small electric tremors are radiating from his fingertips over my skin, goose pimples running fast behind. I have no idea how my entire body lights up at his slightest touch.  
Opening the door, his fingers firmed on my back, pushing me through the doorway, turning and glancing out into the hallway before shutting the door with a crisp snick.  
Tom turned and pounced on me, pushing me up against the wall, his large palms resting on the wall on either side of my head, just in my peripheral vision. His lips descended on my mouth, almost desperate as he pushed his tongue into me.  
I moved to put my hands on his cheeks, but he grasped my wrists as I reached, and pinned them to the wall above my head. His body pressed mine to the wall, his hips pushing against me. I can feel his hard cock pressing into my navel and it’s all I can do to breathe.  
‘Fuck,Tom! Please!“ I gasped.  
"Patience, darling. All in good time…” he muttered in my ear.  
Tom’s mouth descended on my neck, licking and worrying the tender skin there. He seems to know instinctively when he’d found a spot that sends electricity pouring through my body. Or maybe it was my loud moans that were the clue… I tucked my chin and moved my mouth, seeking his, my need to touch him clashing hard with his holding my hands. If I can’t use my hands, I still have my mouth…  
I tore my mouth away from his, bit at his jaw and down the length of his neck, biting just hard enough to draw a hiss from him. Each hiss was followed by a groan, and pushing his body against mine.  
I soothed the little path of bites, running my tongue back up, tracing the tendon in his neck and the underside of his jaw. Tom is rigid, nearly panting as I do this. I can tell he wants to throw his head back, arch his neck, but we both know that if he lifts his head at all I won’t be able to reach it. My tongue runs across his stubble, the change in texture from the satin-fine skin of his throat to the sharp scrape of his beard is startling and beguiling. I run my tongue back and forth savoring the differences, nibbling at his chin.  
Tom shuddered. "Fuck!”  
He wrenched his head away and pushed me harder against the wall, pinning me with his whole body, his head dipped into the space below my ear, breathing hotly on my skin. I feel his whole body tremble against me as he gets control of himself. I guess I found Tom’s hot spot…  
Abruptly, he bends his knees and lifts me up under my bottom, wrapping my legs around his waist. I flung my arms around his neck as he stepped away from the wall and carried me into the bedroom, growling as I worried his neck with my teeth.  
He tipped us onto the bed together, eliciting a shriek from me at the sudden sensation of falling. Tom caught himself on his hands over me and he grinned down at me.  
“Not a fan of falling, then?”  
I could feel my eyes stretched wide, they felt about three times too big for my face. I shook my head, my eyes not leaving his. His eyes softened and he nuzzled along my hairline.  
I ran my hand up into the back of his hair, and pulled his mouth down for a demanding kiss, tasting every corner of his mouth. Coming up for air, I pushed against his chest, rolling him onto his back. I straddled his hips, my hands on his chest and looked down into his darkened eyes. His hands settled on my waist, pausing a moment to simply look up at me.  
“Little girl, you take my breath away…” he said seriously.  
I grinned and traced my finger over his lips, feeling his breath fan over my hand.  
“You’re still breathing though, Grandad. I guess I’ll have to try harder…” I said and leaned down to kiss him, sliding my hands up his chest and into his hair, tilting his head back so I can continue the ravishing of the underside of his jaw, now that I have him where I can reach him. His hands clutched convulsively at my head and I feel the vibrations of his groan through my lips. I have to restrain myself from leaving an actual mark there, right under the point of his jaw.  
His hips are bucking up under me, his voice going high as he whines, “Jesus darling, I want to be inside you!”  
"Mmm, what was that about patience?” I murmur into his tender skin, nibbling and turning his neck into my favorite chew toy. Suddenly he yanked me up by my hips, I fell forward, barely catching myself over him, my tits dangling over his face.  
He leaned up and sucked one breast into his mouth, frantically tonguing my breast, his tongue circling my nipple as it draws up into a tight, almost painful hard point.  
"Fuck darling, you taste so good…”  
I rocked my hips and ground down over his belly, desperate for some friction, well, aside from the friction of Tom’s hands and teeth on my breasts. Tom rolled us again, putting me under him.  
He knelt between my legs, blindly seeking entrance as I lifted my hips and teased him with my wet. He groaned with need, the sound vibrating down my spine, as I reached down, running my fingertips under his balls to his shaft before grasping and guiding him into my heat.  
Tom’s width comes as a shock every time, opening and stretching me to accommodate him. Awareness of his length takes a minute or two of battering at my cervix, for that deep sensation to bloom in my middle.  
He sank slowly in as if pulled, another long low groan reverberating from his chest. His eyes closed, relishing the sensation and then fluttered open as he began to stir, moving just enough to cause my interior muscles to clench around him. His eyes sought mine as he drew away, slow and dragging, and pushed back in. My eyes fell closed at the top of his stroke, feeling the prod low in my belly as his cockhead pushed against my cervix. My hands slid down his back to his waist, grasping him there at the sensation of him so deep inside. I set my feet on the backs of his calves and stroked them with my soles, making my pelvis tilt and rock against him as he moved in another long stroke.  
“Mmm. That’s… You feel so good…” He groaned.  
“Yes… Yes, I do.” I smiled up at him. “I feel fucking marvelous, in fact.”  
He chuckled. “Such a way with words, love. But I was speaking for myself.”  
“Well, you feel fucking marvelous too, then!” Another rumbled chuckle and he chose that moment to slam himself back inside me to the hilt. "Oh God.“ he groaned, as I yelped.  
Tom lifted his torso and held his weight on the forearm beside my head, looking down at our connection, watching himself slide slowly into me and almost out again. His gaze moved up my body as I watched him, and his free hand began to stroke my breast, his warm calloused palm, giving way to the light scrape of blunted nails.  
I pushed up against his hand, loving the sensation.  
"God, Tom. How am I supposed to go back to my regularly scheduled life?” I whimpered.  
“New schedule darling…. just get used to it….”  
“But, Tom!”  
Tom leaned over and licked my breast.  
“If it’s any consolation love… you’re rearranging my life, too… Fuck, darling, I don’t ever want to stop!”  
He thrust hard against me, Jesus, I could feel his balls slap against my arse.  
Tom’s hands wrapped around my wrists beside my head…tightening, holding me down as his body undulated against me. It went on and on, thrust and thrust, the wave he carried me on, pushing me ahead of him. Ahead of him until I fell.  
I lifted my head and bit him on the underside of his chin and he cried out my name as he came, the sweetest sound.


	2. Sacrifices Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for Melissa to head home. Morning sex, Tom's POV

I rolled up on my elbow, looking down her body, from her flushed chest to the hardened peaks of her straining nipples, to her rolling hips, seeking my touch. It’s so incredibly sexy to watch her eyes, her tongue dart over her lip.  
Her eyes traveled back up my body to my eyes, heavy lidded with lust.  
“Fuck, Melissa…”  
I worked a hand free and slid it between us, down our bodies to my aching cock, wetting my fingers and dragging them up and back down, with a small twist of my wrist. She hissed and grabbed my hand.  
”Please… more Tom! Deeper, please…”  
I lurched upwards and yanked her body into position, lifting her hips.  
Lifting and folding her, I slid my elbows under her knees opening her deeply to me.“This won’t be gentle, Melissa,” I warned, and thrust deep within her, with a growl.  
I leaned over her, stroking into her and staring down into her face from a few centimeters grace.  
I’m mesmerized by her quiet beauty, her intensity. I feel as though she has left pieces of herself in my body, in my brain. I will definitely feel her tomorrow, and so will I remember her, always…  
Tears gathered and spilled. It feels entirely too much like goodbye. It’s… overwhelming that I have found this, to have found her, now of all times…I closed my eyes tight, shoving the thoughts away. Be here now, I tell myself. Let tomorrow sort itself. Be here now.  
I loosened a hand that had wrapped around her wrist and lifted it to her cheek, running my thumb across his cheekbone as I pushed myself into her. Her head lifted and her lips latched onto the skin over my collarbone. I could feel the love bite bloom pink under her mouth, her tongue soothing the spot after the brief pain.  
I pushed up and looked down at her, at the mischief in her eyes, a quirk to the corner of her lip, a challenge… I grasped her arse with one hand, and hooked the other arm up her back to grasp the back of her neck, and rolled us, putting her over me. She squeaked at the unexpected movement and laughed down at me.  
“Fuck me, Melissa. Ride me.” I demanded. My hands circled her hips and began to shift her back and forth over me. She settled her knees on either side of me.  
“You want a ride? I can do that,” she said in a low tone. She slapped at my hands on her hips, and put her own on my chest, bending low to bite and nibble at my chin, drawing a curse from me. It’s so electric when she does that, as if she has a line directly to my cock..  
She lifted nearly off me and tightened her internal muscles over my cockhead, making me pant and writhe, god, it’s incredible when she tightens around me like that…before dropping herself down my length abruptly, her pubic bone striking sparks in me as it collided with mine with a solid thump.  
My hands clutched at the sheets on either side of us. I swore while she repeated the sequence several times. I watched her breasts bounce and sway as I drove myself up into her.  
“Fuck, Melissa!” Both hands on her breasts, cupping and kneading them. The skin over her breasts tightened and I could feel her pussy, tightening too. My hands slid down her chest and belly, my fingers circling her navel briefly before traveling to our joining. I picked up some of our moisture and she whimpered when I touched her clit.  
Her head snapped up and she looked down our bodies. “God yes, Melissa, let me touch you,” I panted, “come on me…” I encouraged as she watched my fingers spread her open.  
One hand left my chest and moved down to join mine, one finger teasing along side mine. My head fell back on my neck as we both stroked her clit, her sex clenching over me with the sensation.  
My other hand gripped her hip, holding her steady to drive into her with shorter faster strokes as I felt the coil tighten around my spine. Her lower lip was clenched between her teeth as she urged me on.  
I pushed her hand away to pinch her clit between my fingers and she exploded, sending molten light speeding through my body, contracting and rippling around me.  
“Tom!” she cried out, and thrust down onto me, grinding hard. I bowed off the bed with the force of my own orgasm. I couldn’t tell the difference between the spasming of my body and the pulsing of hers, we were caught in a feedback loop…  
Finally, both our bodies rode it out and we collapsed back onto the bed with loud groans. She lay spent over my chest, both of us gasping to recover our breath.  
***  
That was the most blissed out man in the history of ever I thought, as I lay next to him. He lay sprawled on his belly with closed eyes and a smug smile.  
Well. It was time to get started. I sighed and kissed Tom’s cheek before I moved to get out of bed. His hand snaked out to grasp my wrist.  
“You’re moving. Why are you moving? How are you moving?” he groaned.  
I kissed him again. “Must get on, love. You sleep. I’ll just get showered…” and pulled my wrist free.  
He grumbled something into his pillow. I think he might have been asleep by the time I stepped into the shower.  
I showered and got ready for the day, drying my hair with the hotel blow dryer and braiding it back out of my face, throwing on mascara and lip balm. When I opened the door into the bedroom Tom was fast asleep. I tip-toed around gathering my things, and took them out into the suite’s front room. I closed the door quietly after a last look over my shoulder, and set about dressing. I chose my bluejeans and the ratty old blue jumper that Tom had dragged along for some reason, as the most comfortable travel clothes.  
I was closing up my case when Tom stumbled into the room, blinking owlishly in the bright morning light. He rubbed the heel of his hand into his eye, his hair rumpled with sleep and sex.  
“You weren’t going to leave on your own, were you?” He yawned.  
Well yes. I looked up at him from where I knelt on the carpet, wishing he had stayed asleep. It would have been so much easier. Tears welled in my eyes and I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat.  
“Tom…”  
His face hardened and he stepped closer, his eyes boring into me, his long glorious body standing feet spread and hands clenched at his side.  
“You were.” he growled accusingly. “You were going to creep out like some one night stand…”  
I looked down at my hands, fiddling with the zipper on my case and nodded.  
“Why?!”  
“Because I am a one night stand! Well, a four night stand anyway… I didn’t want you to feel obligated to –”  
“Fuck!” he shouted, scrubbing at his hair.  
We stared at each other a moment and he turned sharply away, marching back into the bedroom. I stood staring after him, my hands limp at my side. He sounded genuinely angry.  
I could hear him muttering and slamming things around beyond the door. He emerged from the bedroom wearing unbuttoned trousers and yanking a shirt over his shoulders, hands going to the buttons. He was buttoning it crooked, I saw.  
“How could you just leave??” he demanded.  
I stood stricken, feeling as though I had somehow stabbed him, tears rolling down my face. I tried to smear the tears away.  
“I’m sorry…” I sniffled. ‘I just didn’t want to do this,” I choked as I gestured at my tears, “at the airport in front of a zillion strangers and fangirls…”  
Tom’s hands dropped from his buttons as he blinked at me. Then he took several long steps and crushed me to him in a tight embrace. I pushed my face into his shoulder.  
“I would have left you a note…” I sniffled. Tom growled into my hair.  
“Not good enough, Melissa…”  
He shuffled me over to the sofa and pulled me down with him, wiping tears from my cheeks.  
“Please don’t say we’re done yet…” He murmured.  
Tom sat back, turning toward me, regarding me much as he had the first night on the sofa in his suite, making a decision about kissing me. A chill ran down my spine as I recalled that moment, the first touch of his warm firm lips on mine.  
He slowly reached out and traced my cheek.  
“I don’t want you to go…” he said lowly.  
I blinked at him in shock. “Are… are you asking me not to..?”  
"No..” he said sadly. “I very much wish you wouldn’t, but it’s your work, and I’m in no position to get in the way of that. No, I don’t want you to go because I’m selfish bastard, and I’ll… I’ll miss you terribly.”  
My breath caught as my own hand covered his, pressing it to me as I squeezed my eyes shut. Another tear wandered down my cheek, wetting our hands.  
“That’s very…” I choked and couldn’t continue. Tom reached for me with a low sound and gently pulled me into his lap, cupping my head to his heart.  
I could feel his breath shuddering trembling and looked up to find his eyes bright and lashes damp, a mournful look on his face.  
“Melissa… Darling girl, you have been exactly what I needed over the past few days. Thank you.” He squeezed me harder. I wrapped my own arms around him and rolled my face into his chest.  
“You’re a nice man, Grandad.” Tom leaned back and looked down into my face.  
“Please let me take you to the airport, Melissa?”  
“Really… Please don’t?” I shook my head, playing with a button on his shirt. He sighed and nodded.  
“Alright. Melissa… You know that you can call on me if there’s ever anything you need?”  
I paused and grinned up at him. “Well, I have some laundry…?”  
He chuckled. “Cheeky girl!” He kissed me deeply, his hand working into the back of my hair.  
“You call me love, see if I don’t come do your laundry for you…”  
I snickered as his lips moved to my neck, traveling softly up to the spot under my ear. “Darling, promise you’ll call me if you ever need…?”  
Persistent bugger…I had derail this line of thought. I don’t need rescuing, dammit!  
“Tom love, are you inviting me to ring you for a booty call?”  
Tom’s hands tightened at the back of my hair, pulling my head back as he stared down at me. How does he do that combination expression of lust and longing and quiet testosterone fueled male arrogance?  
I swear my heart stopped for the briefest second, along with my lungs. Then the corner of his mouth quirked up, and he decided to play along.  
“Certainly darling…” he pulled my head further back and his tongue and teeth traced over the tender spot below my ear.  
“You call,” he whispered into my skin, “I come.” and bit lightly at the spot under my ear.  
“Jesus, Tom…” I groaned. “I think that I’ll be the one coming…”  
“Darling girl, if I do it right we’ll both be coming…”


	3. Sacrifices chapter 12

I tried hard not to snivel in front of the other passengers on my flight home. Not very successfully, I’m afraid. I’m going to miss that charming bastard…

My trip was uneventful. I spent the flight thinking about my time with Tom and his family, occasionally shifting uncomfortably in my seat. Not that airline seats are comfortable to begin with, but Tom’s vigorous and frequent fucking will be with me for days, I suspect. I desperately want a hot bath and a glass of wine, despite the early hour.  
I went straight to the office from the airport, wanting to deal with Jase’s alarm situation before I headed home for some much needed uninterrupted sleep.  
The alarm was beeping away when I reached the door. It’s not really a very loud alarm, but it is persistent. I let myself in and turned the alarm off, looking around for anything that seemed displaced or out of order. It all seemed undisturbed. I threw out the coffee Jase had left mouldering in the pot. Everything else seemed fine.  
I tidied a few prints on Jase’s desk, and shoved a file drawer closed that was ajar. With a last glance around, I shrugged and left, re-locking the door and making my way with my bag in tow to the next door office.  
Janice was at her desk at reception in the lawyers office next door, wearing earbuds, bobbing her head slightly as she typed away at some documents on her computer. She glanced up at my movement in the doorway, her face breaking out in a relieved smile when she recognised me.  
“Melissa! Damn, I’m glad to see you, girl! That bloody alarm has been driving us all mad! Well, me, mostly! Josh and David abandoned me yesterday to work from home and left me to cope, the right bastards!” She pulled her earbuds out and stood to hug me. "Ah, blessed peace! Thank you for coming in to deal with this, I know it’s your week off! I would be a drooling mess in the psychiatric ward if I’d had to listen to that bloody alarm for the rest of the week! I hope it didn’t ruin your holiday?“  
I hugged her back. "Jase dragged my arse back from Scotland! The wanker couldn’t be bothered to drive across town to do it himself!”  
“Scotland?! Whatever were you doing there??”  
I grinned at her. "Actually, I was ending my dry spell with a one night stand that turned into four!”  
Janice squealed and clapped her hands enthusiastically. "At last! Was he any good? What am I saying, of course he was good if you stayed with him for four nights! Tell me all…!“  
"Yeah, he was…not bad.” My lips twitched at my understatement. “I’ll tell you sometime, but right now I need to get home and have a good long soak and a kip, I’m bloody worn out!” I put my friend off for the time being. I’ll tell her everything when I’ve had a chance to process it all. I must be sure to censor my tale to protect the not-so-innocent…  
I made sure Janice knew to call me if the alarm acted up again, and left her to her blessed silence. She giggled and said she’d wait till tomorrow to let the lawyers know the alarm was off so she could enjoy a few hours peace while she finished up her documents.  
I indulged in a taxi home.  
*Home safe* – MC  
As promised, I texted as soon as I walked in the door and dropped my bag, leaning my back against the door to tap out my text. I put my mobile back in my pocket, dragged my bag into the bedroom and went straight into the bath to have a pee. Naturally, he texted back while I was sitting there. At least he didn’t call… How does that man always know when my pants are around my ankles? Oh, right.  
*Wish you were here* – TH  
I sat staring at my mobile for at least two minutes before recalling my purpose. I washed my hands and carried my mobile with me to the kitchen, vaguely thinking about making a cup of tea to take with me into my bath.  
The appropriate response hit me, and I tapped it out.  
*Oh noes! What are your parents doing to you now? :) *– MC  
He replied back immediately.  
*Haranguing me about being old and single actually. If you were here I could hide behind you.*  
– TH  
*LOL. Tell James I said to off knock it off!* – MC  
*…Then I’d have to admit I’m texting with you. I may or may not have implied that this is work.*   
– TH  
I snickered.  
*Are you in the room with them right now? So, I shouldn’t ask you what you are wearing?* – MC  
*Grrr. You’re going to hell for that, little girl! * – TH  
*LOL. The devil has to catch me first! Well, I promised myself a long hot bath when I got home…Catch you later.* –MC  
I should be ashamed of myself for teasing him so. But hell, I find I’m insufferably pleased with myself. I left my mobile in the kitchen, changing my mind about that tea, and taking a glass of wine with me to sip on while I drew my bath. I threw some tropical bath salts in, set my iPod playing Enya, and stuck my hair up on the back of my head. I stepped gingerly into the hot, scented water and felt my spine begin to melt, my tensions (smirk) sailing away.  
I lay back with another sip of my wine, closed my eyes and simply listened to the music, soaking in the heat of the bathwater, and breathing in the scents of plumeria and vanilla.  
Eventually, my thoughts turned to Tom. Of course. Naturally, this thing – whatever, meeting him – couldn’t have come at a worse time. I’m about to become crazy busy with my new job. And that’s another thing… I sighed. I have no business starting any kind of new relationship right now, with that new job starting in a couple of months. I’m just not going to have time for him. There are a million perfectly valid reasons to thank him and just be on my way.  
But oh… I don’t want to do that. I really like him, probably even love him, if you can even call it love after less than a week of days. And nights. I shook my head. Dammit. Honestly, though, I rationalised, counting up the hours we’d spent together.   
Those days of continuous exposure counted for weeks of dating, didn’t they? I knew more about him now, about his faults and fears, about his family and background over these intense days than if we’d had a more conventional start.  
The one thing we didn’t talk about much was his work life. Or mine. Though I can imagine his: long location shoots, spring awards season premiers and promotion and other events. I know he has no clue about my career. Well, he does know about my job with Jase, but I’ve never discussed my planned career trajectory or my ambitions with Tom.  
I’m going to be a photo journalist. A real one, not some paparazzi wasting my life on Red Carpets taking pictures of pretty people. I mean to do some real journalism with my camera, to record history and real lives. To do that I’m going to be going to some of the worst places in the world. We have to stop killing and neglecting the children. They are the subject matter that calls to me. How can we make the world take better care of them if the world doesn’t see what the children live and die with every day?  
My job at RS is going to be exactly that. I’m going to be a photographer in a team of journalists set to cover conflicts and war zones, with an emphasis on human, personal stories. We might be sent to Sri Lanka, Syria, Argintina, Sudan, so many places with so much conflict… I don’t want to be a “War Correspondent”, I want to be a “Life Correspondent”. I don’t give a damn about Statecraft and High Level Politics and the Men in Charge. There are plenty of journalists happy to stand in air conditioned posh hotels and offices and breathlessly take down every word of liars and thieves in thousand pound suits. Someone needs to cover the results of those men’s avarice and hunger for power. I care about the kids trying to survive in the catastrophes those men create, I care about a young mother trying to feed her children, or get away with nowhere to go.  
I don’t want to do ‘human interest’ stories about the indomitable human spirit, about individuals bravely surmounting terrible odds in the face of hardship and war. I don’t want to tell stories about the successes, all that heartwarming crap that makes it seem like war is just another obstacle to overcome, and that the strong enough and worthy enough will survive and prosper.  
No. I need to chronicle the many, many failures, the lives and loves destroyed. I want to give names and faces and stories back to the victims, the helpless and the blameless. They aren’t just numbers and statistics, dammit! They’re real people and every one lost is a real loss to all the human family.  
Mum hates this. Oh, she’s proud that I want to do it, but she’s worried about my safety. She thinks that my refusal to do anything about Jase is proof that I’m not strong enough to handle the kind of crap that women in many of those parts of the world have to live with. She doesn’t get that it’s proof that I can cope. In many ways putting up with Jase’s shit, is me testing my personal resources for coping without breaking down. He’s making me stronger, even if he doesn’t know it.  
Okay. It is what it is, I sternly reminded myself. So I’m going to have to tell him about my new job. That protective streak… Yeah, he’s not going to be happy. If he’s smart, he’ll excuse himself, and run like hell. Somehow I don’t think that what he’s going to do.  
I stood and let the water out, finishing my glass of wine and drying off. The heat had made me sleepy.  
I went back into the kitchen to get my mobile and put it in the charger. I saw there was one last text from Tom.  
#%^*!?#€%#!! - TH  
I walked into the pub that night, just catching the door behind someone else and looking around for Mum’s bright head, wondering what color it will be this week. Whatever it is, I know it will be bright!  
I found her at the back, holding court, surrounded by laughing young faces.  
The hair was a two-tone ombre today, dark blue roots, lavender ends. It suits her. I stopped at the bar for my beer, and another glass of red for Mum before making my way over to her table.  
She looked up at me with her grin and waved her entourage off. “That’s enough, boys, toddle off now. I’ve found someone better than you..!”  
“Jeez Mum!” I grimaced apologetically, as the young men moved off with a laugh.  
Mum smiled at me. “It’s good to see you, darling! Thanks for the wine.” She lifted her cheek for my kiss, and I sat opposite.  
Mum gazed over her wineglass at me, searching my face. ‘The Mum Inspection’. Judging by her expression, she wasn’t happy with what she found there. I have never, not once, managed to lie about my feelings convincingly to Mum. It’s like she’s got a big 'Been There, Done That, Got Your Number’ printed on a T-shirt somewhere in the back of a drawer at home. Back when I was a spotty teen, I had rebelled pretty badly against that. But somehow, sometime, I must have grown up. Or Mum did. I don’t know, but I’ve come to relate to Mum on an adult level of some kind. It’s okay with me if sometimes she has clay feet, just like everybody else. Maybe because it’s okay with her that I’m not always perfect, either.  
All that’s going through my head, and probably across my face… Mum is taking my emotional temperature. She sighed as I took a swallow of my lager, not taking my eyes from hers.  
“What are you doing, baby girl?” She asked quietly. That’s it Mum, dive right in…That little line she gets over the bridge of her nose when she’s concerned etched itself a little deeper.  
“I… I don’t know what I’m doing Mum, but I’m trying to do it carefully… whatever the hell it is!” I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly.  
“And?” Mum’s deadliest weapon, the leading question and/or demand for more information. I huffed impatiently as she stared me down.  
“Jesus, Mum. Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I just don’t know?”  
She looked across at me, a small smile in the corner of her mouth and her eyes knowing.  
“Yep.” She took a swallow of her wine. “Whatever it is love, you’ll figure it out.” She peered at me. “You have actually fallen this time, haven’t you?”  
And there’s the damn tears…  
“Yeah, Mum.” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I thought, you know, it was just a crush, a one night stand crush. But Mum… He’s a genuinely nice man. And his family… his dad is adorable, and sweet, and charming. Tom looks like a chip off the block… Shit! I even like his stepmother!” I thunked my head on the table. Ow. I’m doomed. Mum sat back with her patented Mona Lisa smile.  
“So… definitely not in the one night stand category, then?”  
I shook my head miserably. Mum’s smile was edging towards a grin.  
“So what’s the problem, then?” She asked oh-so innocently.  
I threw my hands up in exasperation.  
“Mum! He’s, he’s a film star! With fan girls and everything…” I trailed off.  
“Huh. I wouldn’t have thought you’d give a damn about all that celebrity thing. Since when do you care what the faceless mob thinks?” I sighed  
“I don’t care what they think. But… I do care what he thinks.”  
Mum looked puzzled.  
“Well, and so you should. I mean what is love but a mutual caring for each other?”  
I blinked at her. Mum has a way of getting straight to the center. I whispered to her, the tears spilling at last.  
“It can’t work Mum. How can it possibly work? He’s away all the time. Shit mum, I already miss him so much and I’ve only known him for a week! And then there’s my new job coming up, and all the travel that entails, not to mention…”  
Mum’s eyebrow went up. “Ah. There it is. What does Tom think about your new job?” I hung my head.  
“I… haven’t told him. He doesn’t know yet. Given the circumstances in which we met…“ I shrugged. "It didn’t seem worth going out of my way to tell him if it was just a one night stand, and he’s never asked, so…” Mum snorted and shook her head.  
“Be honest with yourself at least, Melissa. You didn’t want to risk that he’d run for the hills right then!”  
Yeah. That’s Mum, straight to the heart of the matter with a scalpel.  
“Are you going to see him again?” She asked bluntly.  
“… Probably?”  
Mum looked me in the eye and waited. I sighed.  
“Yes. If he calls…”  
Mum laughed. “Oh he’ll call, don’t you worry!”  
“Oh come on, Mum! How could you possibly know that?” I rolled my eyes, ready to believe she was just trying to cheer me up.  
“Sweetheart, I talked to him remember? I could hear it in his voice! And it would take more than a vague liking for a man to stick around after the bollocking he got from me. Most men would have run without a pretty strong reason to stay, you know it!”  
“But Mum, I care about him. How can I justify deliberately bringing this kind of worry and potential pain to someone I…love?”  
She smiled knowingly at me. “You mean like you’re doing to me?”  
I groaned. “That’s different, Mum!” I gave her a crooked grin and shrugged apologetically. “It’s your job to worry about me!”  
She pursed her lips and tilted her head. “No love, it’s my privilege…”  
I thunked my head down on the table again.  
“God, I hate you, Mum…”  
Mum’s hand stroked over my hair.  
“I know, darling. I hate you too…”  
After a minute or two Mum pushed a tissue into my hand and I sat up to wipe my face.  
“I know it’s hard, love. All the best things in life are. Your heart is in the right place. But, doesn’t he have the right to make his own choices in the matter?”  
I sighed.  
“Life takes compromises and sacrifices, Melissa. Love takes compromises and sacrifices. But the one thing you can’t sacrifice for love…is love. You need to be having this discussion with him. But you already know that.” There goes her eyebrow raised in that 'You know I’m right’ tilt.  
Yeah. I know. I sighed. “Dammit Mum, why do you always have to be right?!”  
“Oh hun, I’m wrong about a lot of things, but I’m not wrong about that! Communication and honesty are not only necessary in a relationship, they are the foundation of every lasting relationship. You have to figure your shit out together, and you’d better expect the shit to come from both sides!”  
She reached over and squeezed my hand, giving it a little shake.  
“But nobody ever said it was easy, Melissa.”  
I groaned and rubbed my hands over my face.  
“Mum… if he asks me not to… if he hates it… I’m not giving up this job, Mum…” I mumbled into my hands.  
“Do you honestly think he would ask that of you?” Mum cocked her head, her eyes watchful.  
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to concentrate with my heart, not my head.  
“…probably not? I don’t know Mum. He already detests Jase. How is he going to feel about my new job?”  
Mom looked a little relieved. “Well, I’m pleased to hear that he doesn’t like that wanker!”  
Jase is something of a hobby horse for Mum. She can’t resist telling me what she thinks of him every time he comes up. Mum sincerely loathes Jase. Well, so do I, come to that.  
“Yes Mum, I know…” I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to ward off a headache. "We’ve already been over it. You know my reasons for why I can’t quit. I’m not going to destroy my reputation and potential career just for a little petty revenge!”  
“Dammit Melissa! It’s not revenge, it’s justice!” Mum has always been fierce about this point.  
“Mum, making an official complaint about Jase will not change a damn thing for me! It won’t change what has already happened.” I said wearily. “It won’t make anything better! In fact it will make everything a great deal worse. I’d be out of a job for a start! How is it justice if I have to pay for it with my job?” I held up my hand as calmly as I could.  
“No Mum. We’ve had this conversation. I made my decision. You need to respect it.”  
I stared her down and she sat back with her lips pressed tight together. She looked away for a moment, obviously struggling to hold back her argument. At last she sighed and nodded.  
“Alright. You’re right.” She looked into her wineglass. “So you think Tom will be more accepting of your new job?” she asked curiously. I regarded her thoughtfully.  
“No,” I sighed. “I think he’ll react pretty much the way you did. I just hope he’ll be able to let me do what I need to do.”  
“Well. Good luck with that, honey.”  
“Yeah.” I looked at her. “It’s just… Mum, when I’m with him he makes me forget that there’s anything to be afraid of…”  
“Yeah.” She nodded sympathetically. “Rotten bastard…”  
I burst out laughing. We ended the evening snickering into our empty glasses. Dad came into the pub then, looking for us. I saw Mum’s face light right up when she spotted him. He’s Mum’s ride home when we’ve been out together. Dad told me once that parenting requires a sense of humor and, if possible, liberal amounts of alcohol. Oh, and nerves of steel. And that goes double for marriage. I’m pretty sure he was joking. Mostly.  
They insisted on walking me the two streets over to my flat, Dad half-grumbling about needing the exercise. They each hugged me at my door. I watched them walk away over my shoulder as I slotted my key into the lock. Dad had his arm slung over Mum’s shoulder, her arm around his waist. He leaned down and said something into her ear and I heard her answering laugh. Dad was nuzzling into her hair as they turned the corner.


	4. Sacrifices-Chapter 13

Tom and I texted randomly back and forth over the next week, he giving me updates on James, asking me about my day. Very mundane stuff. But completely endearing. And… comfortable? A few days later James firmly kicked Tom out, insisting that he get back to work. In that time Tom and Felicia seemed to have solidified their friendship in caring for James. James called it a conspiracy, with good humor.  
That spoke volumes about the family that they were rebuilding. I’m glad for them. Both his sisters had visited briefly, deciding that Tom had things well in hand, and had buggered off back to their lives. I could see his affection for them in his texts, so I stamped firmly on any uncharitable thoughts. It’s not my job to defend Tom from all comers, whatever my instinct is. And Tom had seemed genuinely happy to stay and help.  
He’d been back for nearly a week, picking up the work and obligations he had dropped in order to go be with his dad. As predicted, he was terribly busy catching up. One evening we were texting back and forth.  
*So, what do you have on for the evening, darling?* TH  
*Laundry night! \o/ * MC  
I teased, remembering our euphemistic conversation. It did have the virtue of being true.  
*o-0 Laundry night?? I’ll be there in an hour! Don’t you dare start without me!* TH  
My stomach lurched and I blinked at the screen in my hand, reading his response over and over again. I looked vaguely around at my apartment. He’s coming here?! I finally texted back.  
*Dork. Drive carefully.* MC  
I dove for the shower, beating my ‘overslept, late for work’ time by three minutes, and dressed quickly.  
Yoga pants, a white V-neck T-shirt, and a pair of warm socks. But underneath… underneath are the little turquoise knickers that Tom had liked so much in Scotland, and…no bra, as I had discovered my turquoise bra mysteriously unaccounted for when I came to unpack my case on arrival home.  
For good measure, I hauled out my laundry basket and sorted it. I puttered around a bit, tidying. Thought about putting the kettle on, but decided that I’d rather have a beer. I looked at my hand, shaking a bit. More a trembling, really. I have to have that conversation with him, and it might be coming sooner than I had anticipated.  
My bell rang and I went to let him in. Tom strode in looking like… like he does, God help me. He carried a pizza box on one arm. He bussed my cheek and waltzed through to the coffee table in front of my sofa, setting the pizza - trailing the most delicious aromas - on the table. He turned with a smile.  
“Hello.”  
“You didn’t have to bring food, you know.” I said.  
“Of course I did! Laundry night is no good without pizza! It would be utter sacrilege without!” His smile dazzled. He stepped close and enclosed me in his arms.  
“How are you?” he asked quietly, ducking his head to see my face. My arms slid around his waist and I tipped my head up, considering possible responses with a smile.  
“Good. It’s nice to see you. How’re you?” I squeezed his waist, and tucked my head over his heart, listening to the steady comforting thump that I had somehow become so familiar with. His cheek settled briefly on the top of my head.  
“Completely rushed off my feet. Thank you for letting me stand still for a moment…”  
Letting out a soft sigh, his lips settled on mine, he moved over my mouth as if relearning me, the texture of my skin, the taste of my lips. I could feel his body relax through my hands and arms, through all the skin of my body pressed against him, tension draining from him that I hadn’t realized he was carrying, until I felt it flee.  
Breaking the kiss, he smiled gently down into my upturned face. He stroked my hair and I felt his body tighten up again as his smile faded, two little marks appearing between his eyebrows.  
“How is work?” He questioned cautiously, his gaze sharp, taking careful note of my response.  
“Not bad. Jase has got something going on, he’s not in the office much.” I shrugged. “I’m getting a lot done without him underfoot. I really am fine, Tom.”  
And I am. I’ve only seen Jase about three times, briefly, over the last two weeks or so. Tom looked a little skeptical. I laughed at him.  
“Really Tom, no bruises!” I spread my hands and lifted my arms. “You can check!” Tom grinned, that devil’s twinkle in his eye.  
“What a brilliant idea, darling…” he purred, backing me up to the wall, trapping me there with his hands planted to either side of my head, dropping his head down to take a kiss that was a good bit less sweet than the last one.  
I reveled in that kiss, his firm lips hard on mine, his tongue licking into my mouth, his end-of-the-day scent wrapping around me. The remnants of this morning’s cologne, vague hints of pine and citrus, his own scent warming it all… the scent of the pizza cooling on the coffee table. My stomach gurgled loudly. Tom’s joined in at the chorus.  
We broke apart laughing. Tom released me and turned me toward the coffee table, giving me a little push.  
“Food!” he directed, “I’m scandalously peckish, darling!” I moved a couple of steps toward the heavenly scent but Tom suddenly grasped my hand and pulled me back against him. I looked up, blinking in surprise.  
“I know just what I want for pudding…” he murmured in my ear with a tiny nip at the lobe. If I went briefly weak in the knee, he doesn’t need to know. I smirked at him.  
“Well good. Because there’s only one slice of cake, and it’s mine, Grandad!” I growled at him threateningly, thinking of the lovely slice of Black Forest Cake that Mum had insisted on sending home with me last night after I’d been over there for tea. Tom chuckled, a naughty grin on his face.  
“We’ll just see if you have any energy left to fight me for it after I’ve eaten my pudding…”  
“….” I opened my mouth to retort but got lost on the way at what was likely to happen when Tom… I swallowed hard enough that Tom heard. He snickered.  
He walked me to the sofa and pushed me down to sit, then reached a long arm down and lifted the lid of the pizza box open, delivering a fresh waft of delicious aroma. My stomach growled again and I laughed, reaching for a slice. Tom dropped a kiss on the crown of my head.  
“I’ll get plates.” He moved toward the kitchen.  
I bit into the warm pizza, the tangy tomato sauce hitting my tongue, pulling a gooey string of cheese from it with my bite, enjoying the sight of Tom turning and walking away, my eyes running over that gorgeous backside, and those lithe legs moving with purpose. I honestly had a hard time swallowing until he disappeared through the doorway.  
He returned quickly with plates, serviettes, and a couple open beer bottles, setting them on the table with a smile before he turned and left again without a word.  
The skills of breathing and chewing and swallowing briefly returned to me, until I heard the distinct sound of the dial on my washing machine turning and the thump of the lid.  
What?  
I scrambled off the sofa and fetched up at the doorway to my little laundry, the forgotten slice of pizza dangling from my hand, gaping at him. He turned and grinned, his eyebrows high.  
“What? I did promise to do your laundry, did I not?”  
“Well yes, but I – ” tomato sauce dripped from the pizza in my hand onto the breast of my tee shirt, his eyes following the movement.  
“Oh…dear.” Tom breathed out, his eyes darkening and a grin spreading.  
“How serendipitous, darling. Good thing it’s laundry night.” He took the pizza out of my hand and stripped my tee off over my head, baring my torso and breasts.  
“Oh my… How can these look more beautiful and more enticing every time I see them?” His hands came up and covered my breasts, kneading gently as he bent for a kiss.  
Then he stepped back, the bastard, and handed my damned pizza back. Who the hell wants pizza? His hand slipped to my wrist, wrapping around it and pulling the pizza to his mouth. Strong white teeth flashed and bit. Oh. He chewed, a wicked look in his eyes, before he turned and dropped my soiled shirt into the washing machine.  
I stared down at my bare tits, a little unable to believe that this was my reality, my nipples pebbling up in the cool air. I looked back up at him and narrowed my eyes.  
“Sauce for the goose is quite literally sauce for the gander, Hiddleston!” I growled, and swiped a finger through the sauce and onto the belly of his own tee-shirt.  
“Oops.” I grinned.  
Tom pursed his lips as he stared at the mess on his shirt, then looked smugly at me as he reached behind his neck and pulled the gray tee shirt over his head, dropping it into the machine and closing the lid with a final thump. He took my bare shoulders and turned me, chivying me back to the sofa and handing me a plate. Oh, what the hell. If Tom is comfortable in his casual nudity with dinner, I certainly don’t have a problem with it. I shrugged and bit into my pizza.  
Tom sat on the floor between my feet, leaning his back against the sofa and long legs stretched beneath the coffee table. He pulled a slice of pizza onto his own plate, and lifted his beer bottle.  
“To laundry night, darling.” His face was a picture of mischief and poorly hidden naughtiness as he twisted and took in the sight I presented, bare from the waist up. I shrugged and clinked my own beer bottle to his. Tom’s eyes tracked the movement across my chest.  
“Mmm. Naked pizza. I believe someone once said 'Naked is better’.” I lifted an eyebrow as my eyes wandered appreciatively across his broad shoulders, his collarbones standing out and the points of his shoulder blades sharp. My mouth watered. Tom chuckled.  
“Someone has been on the internet…” I grinned and shrugged innocently.  
“Oh, I might have come across a clip or two. Let’s hear it for tumblr! Cheers!” Tom choked. I took a swallow of beer to wet my suddenly dry mouth.  
We chatted about James’ recovery as we ate, catching up in more than 140 characters, the news was all good. He seemed to have escaped the signs of depression that are all too common after heart surgery. Tom said that Felicia was on top of it. He marveled at how devoted she was to James and told me that she’d been out to the local local bookshop and brought home three different books about heart patient recovery, and cardiac friendly cookery, and how he’d found her swotting up on the subjects at odd moments.  
"And she asked me to give you her thanks for the low-salt chicken and fish recipes that you left for her. She and James quite enjoy them.”  
“Tell her she’s very welcome. I’m glad they like the recipes.” Tom pressed his cheek against my knee, looking up.  
“Thank you, Melissa, for all your kindness.” I shrugged.  
“They’re nice people. Even Felicia!” I grinned slyly at him. “Have you changed her ring tone from the wicked witch yet?” Tom laughed and shook his head.  
“No, but now it makes me laugh!”  
“I’m glad.” I slipped down next to him on the floor, snuggled into him and wrapped my arms around him in a warm hug, which he returned just as tightly. After a long pause of quiet Tom cleared his throat. He reached for his beer, the other arm left draped over my shoulders.  
“Melissa… I still worry about you being around that man…” he offered somewhat tentatively, looking at the beer bottle turning in his hand.  
“I know, Tom.” I nodded. “But I’m a big girl, and I can take care of myself. It won’t be much longer, only two months or so, and then I’m off!” He sighed.  
“I just want you safe…”  
I hid my grimace, knowing that was my opening to tell him about my upcoming, thoroughly unsafe new job, but reluctant to begin the tense discussion that I knew would ensue. I cravenly let the moment pass. Fortunately, Tom rescued me by tipping my head up and kissing me, tasting of tangy tomato sauce and beer.  
Tom pulled slowly back from the kiss, his eyes running over my face.  
“Hi.” His voice was quiet, but spoke volumes.  
“Hi.” I whispered back.  
Tom tipped his head, running his lips over mine, his breath ghosting over my cheeks. Nuzzling into my hair, he laid a soft kiss above my ear.  
I sighed. Shit. Just how does one say 'we need to talk’ without saying that dreaded phrase 'we need to talk’?  
Tom leaned for another kiss.  
“I missed you.” He tipped his forehead against mine, our noses softly brushing against each other.  
“I missed you, too.” I breathed back, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.  
“Good,” he growled in one of his lightning changes of mood. He stood, pulling me to my feet and lifting me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. He strode into my bedroom and crawled onto my bed, holding me wrapped around him.  
“Tom – ” I started. And stopped when his fingers lay over my mouth.  
“Melissa, unless the next word out of your mouth is 'fire!’, it can wait…” He leaned in and traced my lips with his tongue, “…can’t it?”  
I’m not mad, after all. Nor stupid! I pulled his head down, my fingers in his hair, and pressed up into his kiss, drawing his tongue into my mouth.  
Tom slipped an arm under my chest and arched me up, his mouth diving to suck my breast into his mouth, tugging hard on that invisible string that runs from my tits to my clit. I cried out.  
Releasing my breast, he kissed his way up my chest and neck to my ear.  
“Melissa, I missed you so much…” he breathed, before kissing down to my other breast, his hand cupping the first, thumb teasing my wet nipple.  
My hands slid into his hair, holding his head to my breast, feeling that gentle tugging of teeth and soothing suckling of his warm mouth. I moaned and clutched at the hand over my breast as he drew hard. I hissed at the heat beginning to blaze in my belly.  
I forced my fingers open to release the hanks of his hair that I was inadvertently gripping hard and tugging at. I slid my hands under his shoulders and down his back, tracing his shoulder blades, feeling the muscles play warmly under my fingers.  
With a last tug on my nipple, Tom sat up and ostentatiously licked his lips, the very picture of a cat with cream, and smug with it. I chuckled at the happily naughty look on his face.  
“You’re such a playful fuck…” I said fondly. I blinked, replaying that in my head. “Oops. I said that out loud, didn’t I?”  
Tom’s big grin bloomed on his face. Yep. Smug.  
“You’re fun to play with, Melissa.” He licked my cheek and I laughed out loud as I twitched my shoulder over and rubbed my damp cheek against it. “That makes all the difference!”  
He tickled up my ribs, surprising me into a squealing, writhing mess, Tom grinning at me like a loon. Only when I was desperate to breathe through my laughter did I cry 'mercy’. He stopped instantly, his hands holding my hips and his nose nuzzling into my neck. My heart contracted almost painfully.  
“Grandad, I – ” A loud buzzer went off, interrupting me and shattering the quiet in the flat. Tom’s head jerked up and he looked around, startled.  
“You look like a meercat!” I teased, laughing at him. "It’s just the washing machine. It’s finished.“  
"Mmm.” Tom hummed as he dove back to my neck. He kissed five spots at the base of my neck, giving me a necklace of stars that burned into my skin. He sat up and grinned.  
“There’s laundry to be done! Mustn’t shirk my duties!”  
He slid off the bed and pulled me up, stooping and lifting me over his shoulder.  
“Tom,” I laughed. “What the hell are you up to?!” He stood, a large hand clapped onto my backside as I kicked and squealed in surprise at the sting. His other arm was around the back of my thighs, holding me steady as he carried me with him. I couldn’t stop giggling.  
“Need to put those wet clothes in the dryer, and there’s another load yet to be done!” He pinched my arse as I squirmed.  
“You’ll just have to be patient, little girl! You’re awfully wriggly for such a small person, so high off the ground!” he admonished me. Tom slid me off his shoulder onto the floor, making my head spin from the abrupt change in altitude. He made sure I was steady, gripping my upper arms.  
“All right there?” I nodded and folded my arms, leaning against the doorway. This is me being patient. Tom bent and removed my wet laundry into the dryer and set it spinning. He turned to the remaining clothing in the basket, pushing them into the washer, efficiently measuring out washing powder.  
I watched him move about competently and smoothly, the muscles of his back and shoulders contracting and flexing under his skin, wanting to reach out and trace them with my fingers. Or maybe bite them. Yeah. Definitely.  
Tom straightened and turned to me, his eyes bright with deviltry.  
“Now then.”  
His voice was low and growly as he stepped toward me. His hands went to the waistband of my yoga pants and slid them down my hips as he angled his mouth onto mine. His tongue traced the edge of my lip as his fingertip traced the edge of my knickers, making me shiver. Breaking the kiss he leaned back, glancing down between us to see the turquoise lace he was touching. I felt his cock jump against my hip as he groaned aloud.  
“I think I need to take these lovely things off with my teeth…” he said, smoothly kneeling down, his hands stripping my yoga pants off ahead of my knickers.  
He drew his nose over the tender skin below my navel, leaving a small kiss there before nuzzling at the lace over my mound.  
The water-and-sky blue eyes looked up into mine as his teeth grazed my hip, catching my waistband and tugging the elastic between his teeth. He let go and it snapped back, making me jump and laugh, as his eyes glinted mischief. He caught the band in his teeth again and pulled down, his hand coming up to ease the lace down over my other hip and down my thighs.  
Tom was moving to stand when something caught his eye and his eyebrows instantly knotted. He tapped my hip.  
“What’s this?” His tone was disturbed. I glanced down at a small red mark that he was gently tracing on the side of my hip. I laughed lightly.  
“Nothing! I banged into the corner of the desk at work today. I told you I bruise easily! I hadn’t realized that I hit hard enough…”  
“Melissa…” Tom looked up, concern darkening his eyes and voice.  
“Really Tom! Jace was miles away from the office today, I swear!” I said with a smile, sliding my fingers through his hair and cupping his cheek in a comforting gesture. “I wouldn’t lie to you, Thomas.” I said softly. “I’ve hardly seen Jase at all since I got back, and he hasn’t laid a finger on me, I promise!” Tom’s face cleared and he laid a soft kiss on the mark before he stood.  
“All right, then.” He stood searching my eyes, his hands on my bare waist, before bending to kiss my mouth softly. It was a very nice kiss. I’m not putting up with that… I bit his lower lip and tugged a little before leaning back.  
“You know I’m not some delicate flower, Grandad. Give us a kiss…”  
Tightening my hand in his curls, I pulled him back to my mouth and he certainly did kiss me, Tom demanded entrance to my mouth possessively. I could feel my toes curl from that fierce kiss, and everything north of them clenched. The kiss seemed to go on forever, as I stood there completely bare and Tom in his jeans, the front of his trousers straining over his erection.  
I slid my hand down to palm him, feeling him jump in my hand, and he groaned into my mouth before tearing his lips away and stepping back, his hands going to his own waistband and pulling his trousers open, pushing them down and stepping out.  
I watched bemused, my mouth falling open in surprise as Tom emptied the pockets of his trousers, picked up my discarded clothing and dropped it all into the washing machine with the rest of the load. He thumped the lid shut and started the wash cycle.  
“Tom, really? Is this your idea of a routine laundry night? Pizza, laundry, and sex?” Tom laughed.  
“Do you have a problem with that, darling?” I made a show of thinking, pursing my lips, looking at the ceiling, and then grinned.  
“Nope. I’m good. Can I come help you do your laundry? I like pizza.” I nodded emphatically.  
Tom’s head went back in that laugh as he wrapped me in his arms, rocking me in a circle of warm delight.  
Oooh… There’s that mischief in his eyes again.  
Tom abruptly lifted me and set me on the top of the washing machine. I squealed when my bottom hit the cold enamel of the washing machine. Goose pimples raced over my skin in an electric shiver. Tom planted a hand on my chest and slowly pushed me back to lean against the cabinet behind the machine.  
Putting both hands on the machine on either side of my hips, he leaned over me, his mouth coming down on mine, hot and seeking. The noise of the water filling the machine beneath me pervaded the tiny room with its rushing noise as his mouth slid down over my chest, delicately licking at each nipple.  
Standing straight, he lifted his hands and cupped both breasts. Oh! So that was what he was up to… I jumped at the unexpected cold, his hands chilled by their contact with the cold top of the machine, more goose pimples racing over my skin.  
Leaning down, Tom took my breast into his oh-so-hot mouth, even the slight temperature difference shocking. I think if my nipples got any harder they’d shatter. They were so tight they ached.  
Tom slid his hands and mouth down my torso, my body arching toward him to get more of those lips. His tongue licked into my navel sending another shiver and a giggle through me.  
I leaned up on my elbows to watch his progress down my body, his hands brushing and gripping my hips, thumbs sliding down the exquisitely sensitive creases between my hips and thighs. Another shiver at that.  
Tom peppered my belly with small kisses and licks, his hands sliding between my knees and pushing them apart. He smiled a heavy lidded smile up at me as his hands moved to grasp my bum, sliding my arse to the edge of the washing machine top.  
I bit my lip as he hovered over my mound, breathing warmth and anticipation over the sensitive skin there. He leaned in a fraction further and let his stubble comb through my hair, lighting all kinds of trembling, sparking nerve endings. My breath stuttered at the light, barely there contact, hips twitching upward and yearning for more. Tom looked like a cat, blissfully rubbing his chin against me. I nearly meowed at him. I lost my battle with my impatience.  
“Fuck, Grandad! You’re old enough to know what to do with that, right?” I gasped, desperate for what came next and goading him on. Tom’s grin glimmered out.  
“I’m sure I’ll figure it out…eventually.” he teased, his nose nuzzling my mound.  
“Tom…” I whined. He took mercy on me, licking a wet path up the seam of my lips. I was nearly ready to jump out of my own skin, that first longed for touch of his tongue igniting me.  
“Tom..!” my plea came out a gasp. Tom responded by delicately insinuating the tip of his tongue between my folds and searching out the places that make me quiver. I hardly noticed his hands sliding from their position holding my thighs apart down to my ankles and bending each one to set my heels on the edge of the machine beside my hips.  
Tom stepped back and stared at the picture I must have made, leaning back on my elbows, heels on the edge, open and vulnerable. He moaned suddenly, diving into the space between my thighs. I nearly screamed at the sudden all encompassing sensation that was his hot tongue circling and plunging into my entrance, his nose nudging and brushing at my clit. All my interior muscles clenched, and his moan let me know he felt it. He licked the flat of his tongue through my folds to swirl around my clit, teasing me, beckoning me.  
My hips moved helplessly to the rhythm he created, dancing on the tip of his tongue. A finger, then two stroked inside me, and it felt as though he would make his tongue and fingers meet through my flesh. Tom murmured against my sensitive places.  
“Come on, little girl, come out and play… give it to me… come for me…” His tongue began to rub directly over the top of my clit and my whole body seized, arching up and feeling as if I might smack into the ceiling with the force of it. My breath strangled, and nothing, nothing in my universe existed except the exquisite feel of Tom’s tongue on me.  
He gently worked me through my climax, seeming to keep me throbbing for minutes as the as the waves and rippling inside me gradually diminished.  
I collapsed at last, Tom’s hand flashing out to catch my head before I bounced it off the cabinet. Lying limp, I watched Tom with a half lidded gaze as my breathing and heart rate returned to something like normal. Tom leaned over to kiss me, my own flavor sharp and slick on his lips.  
He leaned back to smile at me. I forced myself to climb back from wherever the hell my head had disappeared to, blinking and reaching out to touch him. I huffed a laugh.  
“I guess you do know what to do with that…” Tom snickered.  
“Oh yes Melissa, my great age has endowed me with all manner of knowledge… for instance…”  
Tom stepped forward, pulling my hips back to the edge and running his cock over my lips, slicking it in my wet before notching it at my entrance. My body contracted, clutching at the warm round head nudging barely into me.  
“Did you know that the wash cycle will start any – ah, there it is.” Tom grinned smugly at me as the machine under me began to agitate, rocking my body as Tom plunged himself inside my heat. We both cried out at the hard, hot feel of his invasion.  
“Fuck, Tom!”  
He began a slow oscillation of his hips in time with the rocking of the machine, his hands grasping my hips, pulling me tight against him. His head went back on his neck, his Adam’s apple straining the skin of his throat, begging for my tongue.  
I pushed myself up, my hand sliding behind his neck and played my tongue over it, feeling the vibration of his groan with my lips and tongue, his hips rolling into me, my legs wrapped around his body and hooked at the ankle over his backside.  
I scraped my teeth over the hard knob in his throat, then licked over it, the taste the perspiration that had begun to dampen his skin exploding on my tongue. My mouth searched out a soft spot to suck and nibble on, but there just are no soft spots on this man, all hard muscle and taut skin.  
Oh, except for his lips. His head came back up and his mouth descended on mine, licking into my mouth, his teeth scraping over the tender inside of my lower lip as he suckled. His hips kept their steady rhythm, a long slow rocking of his cock sliding in and out of me, the coil in my belly tightening again, slowly, tantalizingly.  
With a loud thunk and a click the machine under me quit rocking, changing cycles.  
“Ah, here we go… spin cycle.” Tom murmured, taking a firmer hold of my hips.  
The machine under me began to vibrate, shaking us both with it’s motion.  
“Oh my god…oh holy fucking christ!” I gasped as the vibrations shook me literally to my core.  
Tom abruptly changed up his rhythm, his hips pistoning into me as the vibrations shuddered through me. When he insinuated his hand between us it felt as if he had laid a vibrator directly onto my clit! I squeezed down in an effort to delay the inevitable in favor of savouring this. Tom hissed at the pressure.  
Tom was relentless, sweat beginning to pour off his forehead and roll own his cheek, his teeth gritted and the tendons on his neck standing out, a pink flush spreading over his chest and up his neck with his exertions. Gritting his teeth, he looked positively feral.  
Tom’s thumb insistently rubbed my already oversensitised clit and I cried out as he pushed me to detonate once again, riding a shooting star, Tom’s cock my one tether to this earth, the vibrations of the machine still racing through my body as I helplessly clamped down around him.  
“Fuck, Melissa!” Tom gritted out through tightly clenched teeth and thrust hard, stilling at the apex of his thrust, whining noises and small grunts spilling from him as he reached his own release. Just as he collapsed over me, the machine shuddered to a stop, leaving us both panting and giggling in the silence.  
“Holy wow, Grandad!” I complemented him.  
"I fully concur, darling.” Tom mumbled. He slipped gently from me, pulling a small disappointed whine from me, and gathered me up in his arms for a long sensual kiss, as my hands stroked down his back. Bringing each other back to this earth.  
Breaking the kiss, he whispered “Ready?” and lifted me down when I nodded. I stepped into him when he had me on my feet, wrapping my arms around him and laying my head on his chest.  
Tom’s large hand cupped the back of my head, holding me against his heartbeat, his other arm banded across my back, keeping me snug. I felt a feather light kiss on the crown of my head and tilted my face up to smile at him.  
“I’m desperately dry. I could do with about a gallon of water…” Tom ran his tongue around his mouth.  
“Mmm. Me, too. Come on.” He stepped back and took my hand, towing me along to my kitchen and pouring us both glasses of water.  
I shivered a little, now that the heat and sweat of our exertions was cooling on my skin. I noticed Tom shiver too. I grinned at him over my glass.  
“Clever boy. You’ve gone and put your only clothing into the washing machine and you’re regretting it now, aren’t you?” Tom chuckled.  
“Moi? Je ne regrette rien! Might I beg the boon of a blanket from you, my lady?” He kissed my hand and smoldered at me.  
Dear god, French, Regency manners, and puppy dog eyes!  
I put my head on the side and eyed him up and down. I sighed.  
“I suppose. Seems a shame to cover all that up though…” I shook my head at him sorrowfully.  
Tom smirked and playfully stroked his long fingered hand down his chest to his belly, toying with the hair of his happy trail.  
“In that case, make it a large blanket and you can snuggle up inside it with me!” He winked with a suggestive leer, waggling his eyebrows.  
I marveled at how the sight of this glorious naked idiot could make me wet even after the two shattering orgasms I had just had. Doomed. I’m doomed.  
“I could do with a wash before bed. Will you join me?”  
“Thank you darling, I will. I’ve an early call tomorrow and I really ought to go home, but…” his finger traced my hairline, pushing my hair behind my shoulder. I smiled and led the way into the bath, starting the shower.  
“At least you will have clean clothing in the morning!”  
“Oh, that reminds me…” he darted away and I could hear him moving wet laundry into the dryer, and the thing starting up. I brushed my teeth and found a spare toothbrush for Tom while I waited for the shower to warm and Tom to join me. While showering we made plans to go out  
for dinner on Friday.  
A half hour later, I traced a fingertip around his nipple, watching the small pert thing draw up, inches from my face as I lay with my head on his chest. His heart thumped reassuringly under my ear.  
In the end I couldn’t force myself to mar the peace and perfection of this memory of Laundry Night with Tom, in case it’s the last one I have. I promised myself that I would talk to him about my new job over dinner on Friday..


	5. Sacrifices-Chapter 14

I walked up the stairs with trepidation, on my way to work. God, how am I going to deal with Jase and his crap after spending nearly a week with the gentleness and humor that was Tom?? I’ll have to keep reminding myself why I put up with Jase. For my career. I can’t bear the thought of him touching me, my skin crawling at the idea…

Tom had given me strict instructions to kick Jase’s arse for him if he gets up to his old tricks. I’d just let Tom carry on, rather than argue with him. Tom is unlikely to ever see the situation from my point of view. And really, he’s off, back to his world, and I’m back to mine. Ultimately, I’m the only one who has to deal with Jase’s crap.

I stopped abruptly on the threshold of Jase’s office, the door standing slightly open. I cautiously pushed it the rest of the way open. Jase’s desk was gone. His file drawers gone. No cameras and photographic equipment covering every available surface. Hell, no surfaces to cover! What the fuck??

I turned in a slow circle in the centre of the room, trying to comprehend what had happened here. Was it a burglary? Fuck, are they still here?! My heart raced, and my breath stopped. But no, I could see into every corner of the empty room. There was no one else there.

My eyes skipped from scattered torn bits of paper on the floor, to where the coffeemaker should have been, to the back of the door. There was a folded piece of paper stuck to the back of the door with cello tape. With my fucking name on it. My name? Fuck, my name. A chill ran up my back as I reached for the paper and opened it, my hands shaking.

RS letterhead. Shit.

“Dear Ms. Charles,

We have found that we have need of your services sooner than previously agreed.   
We would be pleased if you could begin your work with us on Monday, the first of July,  
rather than in September. Please contact us at your earliest convenience.

Best,  
Peregine White, Editor”

Holy fuck. I swayed on my feet. What?? I flipped the thing over and discovered handwriting rather than type. Scrawled on the back; “Your former boss has been detained to help the police with their inquiries, pending charges of workplace abuse, assault, and sexual harassment by several former female employees.”

How? How is this happening? Not that I wasn’t totally thrilled, but, fuck! How even does this happen? How did my dearest fantasy come true?? I swayed dizzily. My god, am I actually going to…

My eyes blinked open. I’m looking at a ceiling. Industrial lighting. What? Ow.

I took a deep breath and sat up, looking about myself. Ok, yeah. I guess I really did faint. I don’t see that I need to be telling anybody else about that…

Yeah, all my memories are intact. I remember exactly why I’ve found myself waking up on the floor of my ex-boss’ clearly ex-office. I still don’t know how the fuck this happened… I sat blinking on the carpet, staring around the room, tears running down my face. I don’t know why I’m crying. Sheer overwhelming emotion, I guess.

No further answers forthcoming, I gathered my shit together and walked through the doorway, only a little wobbly. For the last time. A surge of glee ran through me. OMG, I never have to set eyes on that unutterable prick again!! Fuck yeah!

I was bursting to scream and run in circles out of sheer freaking joy! God. I sped rapidly out of the office, down the hall, down the stairs, across the lobby and burst out the doors onto the pavement.

My breath heaved in my chest, and I couldn’t help myself. I thrust my arms into the air and screamed, “Oh, Fuck you so very, very, much Jase!!” My head was completely thrown back on my neck, staring up at the tops of the buildings, and the actual sky as I gasped for breath, my heart thundering.

Finally, I drew a full breath in and could let it out in a composed manner. I pulled my head up and lowered my arms, looking around. There was an old lady across the street looking at me and clapping. My eyes skittered around, but no one else seems to have taken notice of my brief brush with psychotic breakdown. 

I looked back at the old gal, grinned big, and miming holding out a skirt, I curtsied in her direction. She sent me a thumbs up. My day, my week, my fucking life has been made today! My brain was bouncing from thought to thought as I almost skipped down the pavement, only just managing some vestige of decorum as I walked. Because I’m an adult now, thank you very much!

No more Jase! No more struggle to go to work every day! No more flinching and calculating trajectories! No more holding myself back from twisting his balls off and feeding them to him… I laughed. No more worry of his power over me!

Ice cream. I needed some damn ice cream! Chocolate… I ducked into the nearby local ice creamery and placed my order, adding a scoop of hazelnut, because why the fuck not?

My mobile buzzed as I walked out the door, licking happily at my ice cream. I fished it out of my pocket. It was Tom! I answered, not even letting him get a word in.  
“Oh my god, Tom! You’ll never guess! This is the best freaking day of my life! Listen to this!”

I recounted the last 40 minutes of my life. Tom listened patiently as I prattled on about my gratitude for those other women who had come forward to charge Jase. I needed to find out how to contact them, to thank them…

After my giddy recitation and unflattering glee at Jase’s downfall, I paused long enough to let Tom get a word in edgewise. He had laughed when I told him about the old gal across the street expressing her appreciation for my bit of impromptu street theater, but I hadn’t really paused long enough to let him say, well, any damn thing at all. Finally I drew a deep breath and blew it out, falling silent. After a moment Tom spoke.

“Good.”

That one word, the satisfaction in it, was like a punch to the sternum. Wait. What? I stopped breathing. A long moment of silence ensued. 

“T-Tom…?” My voice wobbled. I swear, I couldn’t hear him breathing. And I should have been able to, because I wasn’t.

“Melissa, please don’t be angry…“

I think my heart stopped. Everything in the world suddenly lodged directly below my solar plexus.

"Angry?” I whispered to him. "Oh, my god, Thomas, what did you…“ I simply didn’t have the breath or the words to speak. A lightning bolt of pure panic struck me. Oh my god, I can’t…

I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared blindly at it for a moment. And another moment. And then my thumb moved over the disconnect button and pressed down.  
I held the my mobile and stood staring at it, watching it tremble in my hand.

Shock…This must be what real shock is. I don’t know yet just what it is that I’m feeling… but I sure as fuck don’t want to figure it out in the middle of the pavement, with passersby brushing by me…

"All right, love?” A middle-aged woman in a pink coat stopped and touched my elbow. I looked up vaguely, dropped my mobile into my bag and smeared tears across my cheeks with the heels of my hands.

“All right? Not in the least.” I shook my head and sniffled with a watery smile for her concern. “But it will be… someday.”

“That’s it. Chin up, ducks. You’ll do.” She smiled, nodded confidently at me, and walked away.

I stared blankly after her before pushing myself toward home. I’m too old to believe in fairy godmothers. But the random kindness of London strangers…

I dragged through my door, zombielike, dropping my bag and coat where I stood, stepping out of my flats as I walked to my bath, trailing discarded clothing behind me.  
I started a bath, throwing a handful of salts in as it filled. It’s only… I checked my watch, half 10 in the morning and I am exhausted, my muscles and my head aching. Not to mention my heart… Dragging myself into the kitchen, I dug around in the cupboard for my old bottle of paracetamol and listlessly downed a couple with a mouthful of water straight from the tap. My hand hovered over the crate of beer on the floor for an indecisive moment. But, fuck it. It’s not like I have to go to work! A grim cackle worked it’s way out of my throat, feeling like shards of glass, as I uncapped a bottle and took it back to the bath with me.

Stepping into the hot water, and lying back, I tried to blank my mind and just float for a few minutes, letting the scent of the bath salts surround me, and the heat of the water comfort me.

The tears that had been intermittently trickling down my cheeks for the last hour arrived with a vengeance, and I finally let them take me. My heart was breaking at Tom’s betrayal.

And betrayal it was. I knew that he had been trying to help, trying to fix something that he could only see as broken, but that he so comprehensively mucked around in my fucking life… it feels like a mortal wound, fresh and gaping.

I knew it was a risk. I knew right from the very start, right from the moment I crashed onto his feet and looked up at those bright blue eyes peering down at me in astonishment. I knew, and I tried to get away gracefully, before…

I pulled my knees up and laid my head on them, wrapping my arms around my shins, letting the inevitable tears flow. Ugly crying.

I don’t know what it is about people… men in particular, who see a short woman and automatically think that she needs rescuing, automatically assume that she is incompetent to run her own damn life. Tom wasn’t the first bloke to assume he knew better than I. I almost let myself forget that.

But dammit, I can’t live my life refusing to get close to people for fear of getting hurt. It’s my nature to trust too soon. I’m pretty good at spotting and avoiding the horrible people who just don’t give a damn who they hurt as long as they get what they want, and I could tell from the outset that Tom wasn’t one of those. But I’m crap at figuring out how not to be hurt by well-meaning people.

Shit, I’d been so thrilled, ecstatic really, that karma was finally turning the tables on Jase, and he was going to get what’s coming to him. 

And then Tom had punctured my little bubble of joy and satisfaction. He’d just stepped in and pulled whatever magic strings he held, and instead of being vindicated, I was a victim. Again. 

He’d ruined my plans, stolen my self-determination and my self-respect, and dammit, he’d stolen my victory over Jase. I’d had every intention of seeing to it that Jase was prosecuted for being the abusive prick that he was, laid the groundwork carefully to gather the evidence against him, put up with all Jase’s crap, fucking suffered to document it all. And then Tom had just stepped in and blithely taken it all away from me.

And the one person I wish I could take comfort from is the one who has caused this grief. Oh God, I was going to miss him so much… I already did.

I felt a flare of anger. Of course, with my new job timetable moved up, I’ve got a shit ton of stuff to do to be ready to start. Maybe I’ll be too busy to miss him. Right.

Well. I couldn’t sit all day wallowing in the tub and turning into a prune… I hauled myself out of the tub and dried off, shuffling into my bedroom for an old T-shirt and some comfy pajama bottoms.

I took my empty beer bottle back to the kitchen, hearing my text chime going in my bag. Sighing, I went to fetch my mobile.

Tom. Of course. Two missed calls and six texts. And then I remembered our date on Friday. So there’s that to deal with too.

I sighed deeply. This is the risk you take when you let someone in, when you start to care about them. To be fair, Tom hasn’t known me long enough to understand how fierce I am about my independence. I still wanted to scream and throw things at him, but I know I won’t. I’m going to be a bloody adult about this. I can’t change what’s happened, but maybe I owe it to him to explain his error to him.

Maybe the next time he gets involved with some poor woman he will have learned his lesson. And maybe I could salvage some shred of self-respect.

I thought a minute before I decided what to reply, typing and erasing several different messages, before settling on one neutral text.

*I’ll see you Friday night.* MC

It was several minutes before I received a reply. I could imagine Tom doing exactly as I had, dithering over what to say.

*Right. Looking forward to Friday.* TH

I tossed my mobile back in my bag, determined to get on with my life.

I spent the next two days cleaning my flat. The interior of my refrigerator received a thorough scrubbing, and my oven had never been cleaner. I pulled out my ladder and rid the ceilings and light fixtures of cobwebs and accumulated dust. Windows washed, carpets hoovered, and laundry done.

I wasn’t fooling myself, I was scrubbing Tom out of my life.


End file.
